Episode #109 The Puppy Blues

This past week, someone asked me about the puppy blues. They recently brought home a new puppy and are feeling overwhelmed, tired and concerned if they made the right choice to bring a dog into their life. They had the “What have I done?” feeling happening and wanted to know what to do next? Do these blues go away? If so, how long does it take? How can I change this and get back to the me I used to know? I thought owning a dog was supposed to help me emotionally, but all I feel is stress. 

I know this person is not alone in their feelings - it is common for someone to get a puppy, be super excited about it and then a few days or weeks into feel the puppy blues. Yes puppies are cute, funny and do offer emotional support, they are also a lot of work, especially in the beginning, which can leave one feeling tired, stressed and or overwhelmed. Your responsibilities have increased and it seems your personal freedom has decreased. This absolutely can lead to some less than happy feelings towards your new bundle of fluff! 

So let’s talk about the puppy blues today! Can you relate? 

Transcript

The Puppy Blues

This past week, someone asked me about the puppy blues. They recently brought home a new puppy and are feeling overwhelmed, tired and concerned if they made the right choice to bring a dog into their life. They had the “What have I done?” feeling happening and wanted to know what to do next? Do these blues go away? If so, how long does it take? How can I change this and get back to the me I used to know? I thought owning a dog was supposed to help me emotionally, but all I feel is stress. 

I know this person is not alone in their feelings - it is common for someone to get a puppy, be super excited about it and then a few days or weeks into feel the puppy blues. Yes puppies are cute, funny and do offer emotional support, they are also a lot of work, especially in the beginning, which can leave one feeling tired, stressed and or overwhelmed. Your responsibilities have increased and it seems your personal freedom has decreased. This absolutely can lead to some less than happy feelings towards your new bundle of fluff! 

So let’s talk about the puppy blues today! Can you relate? Have you felt a similar way? I’m curious what you did to help and how you handled it. First off, it is okay to feel what you feel. This is hugely helpful to me anytime I am feeling an emotion I do not like. I’ll be the first to admit I do not sit well with unwanted feelings. I want to get rid of them as soon as possible. But I am trying to do better at being uncomfortable. I recognize life is more rich when I know what different emotions feel like. Would I know happy if I’ve never been sad? Would I appreciate feeling peace if I never felt stress? I also know that a feeling is a feeling. That’s it. I know that is easy to say, but much harder to live - and yet, it remains true. If I can be willing to feel something, it eventually will work its way through me and a new feeling will come. 

I say that because it is okay to feel the puppy blues. It is okay to feel tired, frustrated or overwhelmed. It won’t last forever. The first few weeks of raising a new pet can be hard because your normal is disrupted. You may not be getting the sleep you usually get. You may have needed to rearrange your daily schedule or routine to accommodate your new companion’s needs. Supervision is a must and takes a lot of the day. Your new dog may not be meeting your expectations. We see clients frequently start life with a dog having unrealistic expectations and then they are disappointed when reality does not match up. They mean well and have the best intentions, but when the puppy keeps biting or has an accident, this leaves the handler feeling frustrated which can seem to occur more often than the happy feelings they thought having a dog would bring. 

Training a dog is hard work. It takes time and patience. It takes understanding and commitment. There will be ups and downs for sure. Some days will be great, others will be hard. If you find yourself feeling the puppy blues, that does not make you a terrible pet parent. It is the reality of the change in lifestyle and adaptation to a new normal that may take a little time. Be patient with yourself. Give yourself some grace. The puppy blues also do not mean you have no love for your dog. I bet you do. There will be a day when you feel put together, you have a routine, your puppy is making progress and you will start to remember why you got a dog in the first place. Hold on to these thoughts as they will bring the feelings you envisioned having a dog would bring. 

How long the puppy blues last varies from person to person. We find with the many clients we coach, once a routine is established and they see their puppy making training progress, the blues begin to diminish and the feelings of frustration and overwhelm turn into joy and excitement. Find a trainer near you, or check out our online puppy school for training support so you start to see progress sooner than later. 

Dogs mature in phases just like we as humans do - but good news! They do it much more quickly. When you bring a new puppy home they are similar to that of a human toddler. Think of the time and energy that goes into raising a toddler. You now have one that doesn’t wear a diaper, doesn’t speak your language and behaves in canine ways naturally meaning they bite, chew, bark and jump - often they do these things to try and play with you! That may seem very foreign to a person. Soon after, we are talking months not years, your dog grows into their teenage phase and new challenges arise. Learn what the adolescent phase involves and recognize it is a phase! All dogs go through it, all dogs grow out of it! That’s not to say they will grow out of unwanted behavior - if it works for them they WILL keep doing it, but we as trainers are happy to help you navigate this phase too. 

Become educated on realistic puppy expectations to help set you and your puppy up for success. We have a section on just that, helping you understand how a dog thinks and why they chew, bark or bite. Our trainers are happy to meet with you via a one-on-one session to coach you through the process and help you get over whatever training hurdle you run into. 

In short, the more educated you are on what it is like living with a dog, how they think, how they communicate and how they learn, the more realistic your expectations will be. We see a direct correlation between this and the puppy blues disappearing. It is okay to feel the blues. It is okay to second guess your decision to get a dog. You are not a bad dog owner for feeling the way you do. Recognize the change that has happened in your life, don’t be afraid to feel it and then watch for the little things that remind you of why you wanted a dog in the first place. They are amazing animals with so much love to give. Building a relationship with a dog is a beautiful thing and truly can bring comfort and joy! It just may not feel like that today, and that’s okay. I promise.