Episode #195 When the Honeymoon Phase is Over

Are you ready to conquer the chaos that comes with a new puppy? Discover the essential strategies to smoothly transition out of the honeymoon phase and into a balanced home environment. We explore the initial calm period when your puppy is just settling in, and the whirlwind that follows as their true personalities come to light. Expect expert tips on creating routines and employing handy management tools like play pens and baby gates. We also emphasize the importance of incorporating all family members, especially children, into the training process to foster a sense of responsibility and teamwork.

Chapters

• 0:00 Transitioning Out of the Honeymoon Phase
• 8:31 Managing Puppy Behavior and Training

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

This is the Puppy Training Podcast, episode 195, when the Honeymoon Phase is Over. This podcast is designed to help you on your journey of becoming best friends through love and learning, as you train your own dog from home, and I'm here to help you every step of the way. This is the Puppy Training Podcast and I'm your host, amy Jensen. You every step of the way. This is the puppy training podcast and I'm your host, amy Jensen. Hello everybody, thank you for listening to the puppy training podcast. I'm so glad you're here. I'm guessing you either have a dog or you are about to get a dog, so either way, welcome.

Speaker 1: 0:47

Today I want to talk about those of you who maybe recently got a dog or are about to get a dog, because there's something that we call the honeymoon phase. Maybe you know what that is already, but let's talk about it today, because there's a honeymoon phase where we're super excited about what's about to happen. Everything's new, and new just brings exciting right, um, and so there's this little time period where everything is great and glorious and fun and blissful, and then that ends and things happen, and some of us can feel a little overwhelmed. So don't panic, we're going to talk about it today. It's just part of the process and I'll give you some tips today on things that you can do post honeymoon face. Okay, so let's get into it. So, like I said, during the initial days, we call it the honeymoon period because we feel this overwhelming sense of joy and our puppy might seem to be on their best behavior. Right, everybody's like I got the calm puppy, I'm so lucky and that's okay. However, as the days go by and your puppy becomes more comfortable in your home, there's a little stress layers start to melt away and that calm demeanor may shift. You might start to see more of their true, energetic personality. This is a really important phase in the training process. We're settling into a healthy and balanced rhythm, for your entire family becomes super important.

Speaker 1: 2:02

So the honeymoon period refers to again those first few days, or possibly weeks, after a new dog or a puppy is first introduced to a new home. Again, during this time, puppies are often more quiet, more reserved. They seem to be just well-behaved. It's because they are stressed and they're unsure of who they can trust and if they're safe in their new environment, and so they are a little more reserved. Imagine yourself walking into a room full of people. How many of you are just your true selves. You'll speak out and be boisterous and loud and do maybe some risky things in a room full of people you don't know? Most likely not. Most of us walk into a room. We want to read the room first. We want to see who we know, assess our comfort levels before we actually start to engage. And this is much like what your puppy is experiencing when they first come home. So this can be misleading for new family members.

Speaker 1: 2:54

Right as it may seem like hey, we lucked out with this really unusually calm puppy. However, this behavior is often just a response to stress and unfamiliarity. Now, puppies are creatures of habit and when they are first taken away from their litter mates and their mother, they often feel overwhelmed. And that new environment that's filled with unfamiliar sights, sounds and people causes them to stay cautious and more observant. So their stress levels are high and they tend to hold back on some of these true personality traits that are going to come forward soon. But as they adjust to their surroundings, their stress lowers. Their natural energy, curiosity and playful behaviors begin to emerge no-transcript. Now they're more interested in food rewards. Now they're more interested in toys, whereas when you first brought them home, they might not have had much interest in those things. Those things will start to matter to the puppy as their stress levels come down. So training can then take place once our puppies relax. So it's not just a bad thing that the honeymoon is ending, it can be a really good thing. Now, how do we adjust when the honeymoon ends? So when our puppy starts to show their true self, often they'll have bursts of energy, right, we call it the zoomies, or chewing, nipping, barking. They might start to bark because before they didn't dare demand bark, but now, if they want something from you, they might let out a little bark, right? So it's important to adapt our approach and establish a nice routine that ensures harmony in our home.

Speaker 1: 4:16

We have management and training. We pair those two things together for um, the highest rate of success. Now, especially in families with children, please, please, please, use the management. We want to set very clear boundaries and we want to maintain positive interactions between the puppy and the kids. So using a play pen is great. The puppy can be in the play pen, the kids can be outside of the play pen. They can still interact, um, and if you have a specific training game you're working on. Yeah, the puppy can be out of the pen with the kids in the same room engaged in a structured activity and then, when the game's over, the puppy can go back in the pen and the kids can continue on playing. We can even reverse that. We can have the puppy out and playing while the kids are in the pen.

Speaker 1: 4:58

Right, or you can use baby gates. You can get really creative on how this happens. Maybe you gate off a room where the puppy can be in one room and your kids can be in the other room. That way the kids are playing with Legos or they have markers and crayons out. The puppy's not going to go over and mouth all of those items. Instead, the puppy gets their side of the home right. They get this room with their play toys and their chews while the kids play in the other room.

Speaker 1: 5:19

So there is a lot of management when we have homes with dogs and kids, and that's okay, that's normal, and as the training happens, it takes time. But as we train and as the dog matures, a lot of it is just maturity. We need time to pass. Then, yes, they can be together. The dog learns to leave, you know, the children's toys alone, that kind of thing. Now here's some key strategies. Let's go over some just key tips that you can use to manage this phase. Number one is positive reinforcement. So as we exit the honeymoon and your puppy is now a little more of themselves, right, okay, a lot more of themselves, which is cute and endearing. You guys embrace every cute thing your puppy does. Um, that's why we love them, right? They're cute little personalities. So number one is positive reinforcement. This is the most effective method of training, in my opinion.

Speaker 1: 6:08

Puppies respond best to rewards for good behavior, whether it's food, praise, affection, play, okay. There's lots of different ways we can reward our puppies when they behave appropriately, whether they're sitting calmly chewing on the correct item right, not our furniture, but on a chew toy or going to the bathroom outside. We want to pay them. So yes, good dog. And give them a little food reward right away. So the yes is our marker that the dog did something we like, and then the food reward follows. The puppy's going to start to work to hear more yeses. So this teaches our puppy what behaviors are expected and encouraged, what gets them rewards. Because if we reward what the puppy does, the puppy's going to try to do that again to get another reward. It's awesome. Now, when they misbehave, it's going to happen. They're puppies, right? They don't know any better.

Speaker 1: 6:55

So if they nip at your children or they jump on some furniture that you don't want them to jump on, rather than punishing them, let's just redirect them to the appropriate behavior. We want to show them what to do, set our dogs up for success because, remember, they have no idea what good human behavior looks like, and they're not human, they're a dog, so we have to keep that in mind. Now, for instance, if they're chewing on some furniture, I just hand them an appropriate chew toy. Instead, you might need to remove them from that room, so maybe lure them out of that room over into this room where they can chew on their chew toy, so they're not right next to the sofa. That distance can create a space where they can forget about the sofa and focus more on the chew toy that we gave them.

Speaker 1: 7:34

Now, consistency and rewarding good behavior and gently guiding them away is key. Again, we don't want to be scary. We don't want to be forceful or fearful. We want this all to be a positive, happy interaction. We noticed something that we don't like. Hey puppy, let's go over here and do this instead. And again, if you don't have time to manage that, you know, by watching them and making sure they stay in this space.

Speaker 1: 7:54

That's where baby gates, exercise, pens, leashes you can use as tethers or crates come in. So that brings me to my next point management with pens, crates and leashes. Please use these tools, please have them on hand. You will need them. You will need all of them, so have them ready to go before your dog comes home. Um, a crate provides a safe, quiet space for the puppy to relax and take breaks. Oftentimes you'll notice, if you leave your puppy out in the room and they want to fall asleep, they go find a nice quiet corner under a table or tucked away where nobody will bother them. Okay, so crate provides this really great safe space for them to seek out.

Speaker 1: 8:31

Now, play pens are great for containing your puppy in a specific area where they can play safely without getting into trouble or hurting themselves. Basically, it's their little bedroom, right? You've got this pen where they can't be chewing your baseboards, they can't be peeing on your carpet. They have several toys in there with them and choose in there. They have a water bowl. This is where you can put their food bowl. Um, this is their space where they get to play, and it's okay if you want to get in and play with them in that space as well. It's just as a nice barrier so that if they are bitey or mouthy or jumpy at some point in the day, you can step out of that pen and they can't get to you. It provides that management so that the only things they can chew on are appropriate items.

Speaker 1: 9:11

Now, these tools give us peace of mind when we cannot supervise them directly, and it gives you a break. You're going to need breaks throughout the day, so please use the management so that you get a you time right. There's going to be things that you need to do, and a puppy is all hands on deck. The first couple of weeks it can feel overwhelming because there's lots of new things to think about. Using these management tools will give you those natural breaks in the day where you can decompress right, you can think about other things that you need to get done and the puppy can manage themselves. That's an important lesson that they can learn as well. So, again, leashes inside the home can be useful, especially during the initial training phase. They allow us to guide our puppy away from trouble or prevent them from jumping on people or especially small children. We want to make sure that these tools are positive experiences, so you can give your puppy a food reward when they go into their crate, or you can give your puppy a food reward as they walk around with you on leash throughout the house. Right, we're never using these pieces of equipment as forms of punishment, all right.

Speaker 1: 10:11

Number three tip would be physical activity. Recognize that these puppies, like children, need regular physical activity to burn off energy. So a tired puppy is a more well-behaved puppy. It doesn't solve everything, but it really does help. So I don't want you to take this that it means excessive exercise. Again, puppies are still growing, but regular play sessions in the yard, games like fetch, tug, hide and go seek, find your food, um, just letting them play and run around on their own and then rest when they're ready is ideal for young puppies and it lets them release this pent up energy that comes usually around mealtime. By the way, now, this also offers a fun way for your kids to bond with the puppy. We have a lot of games and activities on our games and activities page. These are structured training activities but they're fun. So if your children want to play with the puppy, say, hey, go find a game, go pick a game off of Baxter and Bella, and then we'll get the puppy out and we'll play. And that way the puppy has a specific task they're thinking about. The children know the rules of the game. They have rewards on hand. It's more likely to go well, okay. So structured activity is important, okay, along with physical exercise. Mental stimulation just as important as physical exercise. Our dogs need to be exercised mentally.

Speaker 1: 11:27

Puppies are naturally curious and they're very intelligent. They are super smart. I call them little sponges. Before you know, week 12 to 16, they can learn many, many things. Now don't feel like you have to teach them many, many things. You can just stick with the basics. But they are ready and eager to learn. So that sit to say, please game, that we teach you just basic manners of this is how you get something you want Really important. Let the puppy think and work that yes marker that we talked about. Let them start to figure out what will get me my next yes, we really want those wheels turning. Other things that help prevent boredom would be like interactive toys, puzzle feeders, training games All of these things can keep your puppy's mind sharp and focused.

Speaker 1: 12:08

Again, we're going to teach them the basics, so bring them to our puppy kindergarten class. It's all online. It's a six week course. They'll learn things like sit, stay, leave it, drop it all through positive reinforcement and this will help stimulate their mind and gives them the structure that they crave. It also creates a great environment in your home because the puppy's starting to learn good behavior and what that looks like. I love it. When you guys will include your kids in the training process, it's a great way for them again to build that bond with your puppy. They can even help with simple cues, providing food or praise when the puppy listens, which fosters a sense of responsibility and teamwork between them. If you have kids, we have a junior training program, so it's a four week puppy kindergarten course where we're teaching it to kids on a kid level. So check that out If you have kids in your home.

Speaker 1: 13:00

Number five is ensuring that you get breaks. So I mentioned this a little bit earlier, but do make sure that you get downtime. As much as you love your new puppy, it's really important that you also get breaks throughout the day. I know that puppy care can be exhausting. Especially as they transition out of the honeymoon period, they require a little more attention. Don't hesitate again to use those management tools that we talked about and give you and your puppy downtime.

Speaker 1: 13:18

In fact, more often than not, when clients contact us and say my puppy just is so bitey and irrational, they won't listen, they won't take a food reward. That puppy, you guys, is usually tired. They're not getting enough sleep during the day. They just play harder, harder, harder, harder until finally they crash. So notice those little flags. We walk you through that and teach you all about that inside of our program, um, and you know ways to look for that, signs to watch for. But when you start to see those things like my puppy is so bitey and mouthy, they won't listen, they won't redirect, they won't. I'm like stop, your puppy is tired, they need a nap. So recognize your puppy also needs downtime. That gives you downtime and it will give you some moments of peace, especially if you have busy households with children. So when everyone is overstimulated or overwhelmed, it's better to create intentional rest periods than to try to push through and risk that frustration or exhaustion right? So don't feel bad about taking breaks. We want to make sure that we're balancing kids and a puppy that you know can oftentimes feel that's oh, we're juggling a lot of new responsibilities. It's okay, you guys, to take a break.

Speaker 1: 14:28

Now I know you're asking when does it get easier? Typically, the puppy training process becomes, in my opinion, easier between four to six months of age, just based on the consistency of training, the temperament of the puppy, the breed of the puppy. A lot of factors go into that. But I feel like by that time a lot of us start to feel like okay, I can do this, we have a routine, we have training in place. It's going well. At this point, from four to six months of age, you're just practicing things. We've already taught them the cues and the behaviors. Now we're just practicing them. We're taking them to other places. So we're proofing these behaviors by practicing them at the park and at different locations instead of just in our houses. So all of that is is getting better. Now you'll start to feel like this about four to six months of age and there are some regressions that happen because of that, for example, with house training. Around four to six months of age we're like, ah, our puppy's doing so great. We have this great routine happening they're going outside to go to the bathroom and then they start to have accidents because we're letting down our guard and not watching them as closely. So be aware of that Also.

Speaker 1: 15:30

The next phase, you guys teenagers. I love teenagers, so don't panic about that phase. It's actually a wonderful phase we call adolescence and we can help you through that phase as well. But each of these are phases. I think that's the most important thing to remember is that our puppy is going to grow and mature and go through these phases. We like to educate you on what each phase looks like so that you can be successful and your puppy can be successful at getting through that phase and then really just enjoying life together. So we hope you reach out. If you need help, we have an entire online training program that can walk you through each of these phases, with one-on-one coaching to support you along the way.

Speaker 1: 16:07

You guys, thanks for listening today. I hope this helps you get through that next phase, post honeymoon. I know that it can be a little bit rough and maybe disappointing or exciting or overwhelming. There's lots of emotions that surround it and you might feel one today and the next tomorrow. So I know it's a little bit of a crazy time as you start to see your puppy's true personality emerge, but it's also really wonderful and fun to see who they truly are. And then we go from there. Thanks you guys for listening today. I really appreciate it. I hope you'll come back next week for another episode. You guys have a great rest of your week. Happy training. If you have a question about anything you heard on this podcast or any other puppy training question, visit my site, baxter and Bellacom, to contact me.