Episode #231 Helping Your Dog Learn to Like Strangers

Is your dog nervous, reactive, or just unsure around new people? You're not alone — and this episode is for you! In today’s show, Amy walks you through why some dogs struggle with strangers and what you can do to help them feel safe and confident using positive reinforcement and force-free training methods.

Whether your dog is fine out and about but struggles at home, or they just don’t like being touched by people they don’t know, you’ll learn:

✅ The common causes behind fear of strangers
✅ What NOT to do (and why forcing it can make things worse)
✅ How to change your dog’s emotional response using simple, trust-building exercises
✅ Practical training games like Look & Treat, Stranger Toss, and Pattern Games
✅ Tips for in-home guest setups, managing space, and setting your dog up for success

Join us as we replace fear with confidence — one treat, one step, and one success at a time.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Dog Stranger Anxiety
• 2:14 Why Dogs Feel Nervous Around Strangers
• 4:04 Training Don'ts: What to Avoid
• 5:07 Step-by-Step Training Exercises
• 10:07 Managing Dog Anxiety at Home
• 11:28 Closing Thoughts and Final Encouragement

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Not all dogs love other people. They might love their people, but not every person that comes their way. Does this sound familiar? Today, we're talking all about it. Welcome to the Puppy Training Podcast. I'm Amy Jensen, founder of Baxter Bella, the online puppy school. Here we are all about helping you create the best possible experience raising a puppy, from training tips to practical tricks, all aimed at fostering a happy, well-behaved dog who truly feels like part of the family. So if you are ready to enjoy the journey and strengthen the bond with your dog, let's get started. Hey everybody, thanks for tuning into the puppy training podcast. We are so excited that we just hit 50,000 on Instagram and thank you guys for being followers, and if you're not one yet, head over there. We have a cool giveaway going on, so check it out. And then also, with it being summer and school is out, remember that we have a junior training course, so it can be on your own time, on demand. It's recorded and available whenever, or you can check out our live schedule as it's happening throughout the summer. But get your kids involved in training. We make it fun, we teach it on a kid level and it's going to help your child have a good relationship with your puppy. So check that out if you haven't already.

Speaker 1: 1:21

Okay, today we are talking about dogs who don't necessarily love people, and when I say people really I mean strangers, right? A fairly common question we get asked here at Baxter Bella is my dog doesn't like strangers. What should I do Now? Maybe your dog barks, growls, hides or refuses to approach people they don't know, or maybe they're great out on walks and in public places, but they seem a little bit territorial or overwhelmed at home. Either way, I want you to know you are not alone and your dog is not broken. This behavior is pretty common and it's changeable, especially when we take a kind, patient and evidence-based approach, using positive reinforcement and force-free methods. Let's unpack today why some dogs are nervous around strangers, what to avoid and, most importantly, the training steps you can take to help your puppy feel more confident and secure.

Speaker 1: 2:14

First off, why is my dog nervous around people? There are several different reasons, and some it might be a combination of some of these reasons. Some it might just be one or another. But first of all, lack of early socialization. We're really big on this at Baxter and Bell. It's really important that in our puppy's critical window, usually up to around 16 weeks. We want to make sure that they're learning what's safe and normal in the world. If they weren't exposed to a variety of people in calm, positive ways during this time, strangers may feel scary or unpredictable. Number two is we want to make sure that uh, you know, be aware of any negative past experiences. So a dog who's been startled or hurt or overwhelmed by a person, even unintentionally, may generalize that fear to new people.

Speaker 1: 2:56

Number three would be genetic temperament. Some dogs are just naturally more cautious or sensitive. Think of people and how different we are in our personalities and the ways we interact with others. Dogs are similar. So if your puppy has one of these temperaments, it's okay. Not every dog is a social butterfly.

Speaker 1: 3:14

Number four is territorial behavior. We start to see this around the adolescent period, possibly, but dogs can behave differently in different environments. Your dog might tolerate or even enjoy people outside the home, at the park or on walks, but then suddenly a stranger comes to your house and maybe they feel threatened when that stranger's entering their comfortable space. That's normal too. Number five would be touch sensitivity. Some dogs simply don't like being petted by people they don't know. This is often about consent, trust and personal space. Again, think human behavior. I'm pretty careful about who's touching my children, right, or who's touching me, and sometimes we think, oh, everybody should be able to touch our dog, and dogs don't necessarily see it the same way, so we need to be respectful of their personal space as well.

Speaker 1: 4:00

Now, before we dive into training, let's do a quick reminder of what we want to avoid. So this would be what not to do Never force your dog to interact. This includes pushing them toward a person, holding them still or allowing a stranger to come approach them, reach in and pet them if it's not wanted by your dog, and we can tell a lot of that by watching our dog's body language. Next, we want to avoid punishment. We don't want to yell, yank on the leash or correct the dog for barking or growling, because this can backfire and actually increase the fear. We also don't want to ignore their signals. So barking, growling or hiding is a way of our dog telling us how they're feeling. I'd much rather my dog growl or try to hide and back away, and then I can give them some space rather than have them bite somebody because I wasn't listening to them, right? So my dog is saying I'm uncomfortable. We need to listen to that and when they understand that we're listening and we're backing away and giving them space, they don't escalate behavior to aggression, which is something we want to avoid.

Speaker 1: 4:58

Now let's get into the step-by-step plan and I'll give you some exercises you can start practicing right away to help your dog, if this sounds like them. Now exercise number one we're going to call the look and treat game. This is your foundation. It teaches your dog that seeing a stranger means good things happen. So we are trying to change an emotion in our dog and when we're trying to change an emotion it's going to take time and lots of repetitions and our first step is just seeing the stranger and feeling good about it, right. So we're not going to jump right to the interaction, right to that person reaching into pet. We're going to start with I see something that in the past has made me feel uncomfortable and your dog is learning oh okay, I actually feel fine when I see a stranger. So how to do it?

Speaker 1: 5:45

I want you to start at a distance where your dog notices the person but isn't reacting. So they're not pulling, lunging, biting, barking, biting hopefully not barking on the leash. You get what I'm saying we want them to like see the trigger or see the person, but not be reacting. Yet the moment your dog sees the person, I want you to say yes and then give them a really yummy food reward, and I want you to repeat that every time they look at the person. So what I like to do is they see the person. I actually feed them as we turn and walk away, and then you can have an opportunity to turn back and see the person again, feed your dog and turn and walk away. This way they're getting space, which is going to help them feel better, a yummy food reward for turning away, and you're setting them up to then have another repetition where they can again be successful at turning away. And then gradually we decrease the distance over time as our dog becomes more relaxed. Now this exercise is powerful because it builds a positive association. Stranger appears treats rain from the sky.

Speaker 1: 6:43

Exercise number two that I want you to try is called stranger toss game. So once your dog is calm from a distance, I want you to enlist the help of a trusted friend. Have this person toss a food reward toward your dog without making eye contact or speaking. So that's important because looking directly at the dog or talking to the dog is going to feel threatening. So instruct this person to just toss a food reward as they look the opposite direction as to where your dog is. Repeat several times, while the dog stays relaxed. If your dog moves closer, great, they want to come check out this person who's tossing them food rewards Wonderful. But don't force it. If the dog backs away or barks, then we want to increase the distance. So, again, distance is going to be your key factor in helping your dog feel better, and that's the start of changing this whole behavior.

Speaker 1: 7:31

In the first place is getting that emotion to change. I like seeing a stranger, I like seeing a different person. So, if needed, that's okay. Back up, create space for your dog. Now a tip for the helper would be pretend the dog is not there. This works so well, but it has to be taught to the person, because obviously you're like, hey, can you help me train my dog? And they think it's all about the dog, which it is, but we have to pretend like they don't pay attention to the dog, right? So we're asking this friend to help us train our dog, but hey, actually what I want you to do is has nothing to do with the dog. Don't look at them, Don't talk to them, just pretend the dog isn't there, be boring, and then just toss the food and look away. Right, it's going to go better if they aren't directly interacting with your dog to begin with.

Speaker 1: 8:13

Number three is pattern games. Dogs thrive on predictability. Leslie McDivitt is one of my favorite trainers and she's come up with a one, two, three game that will work great for this. So how to do it? You're going to walk with your dog on leash as you approach a stranger at a safe distance, start saying one, two, three and you're dropping a food reward on the ground each time, or you can hand feed your dog each of those rewards. This is a rhythmic pattern that can help reduce anxiety Over time. We just practice closer to the people and in different places. Now bonus it gives you both something to focus on other than the scary human. So our dog's focused on the counting. So one, two, three and you're dropping a food reward, or you're hand feeding your dog a food reward. The dog is understanding every time she's counting, a food reward is coming and they start to focus on the rhythm of that versus the stranger that they are seeing.

Speaker 1: 9:05

Number four would be teach an alternative behavior. Give your dog a job to do instead of reacting. Again, this focuses on getting your dog to think about something else besides the scary stranger. So try something like a touch target their nose to your hand. A simple look at me cue where they look at you, so they see the your hand. A simple look at me cue where they look at you, so they see the stranger you cue. A look at me. Go to place. So go to a bed or go to a mat and teach your dog that, no matter what's happening or who's around or what they're seeing, they can relax on that mat. Again, that one's important that we don't allow the stranger to approach them so that they feel stuck in that one. We have to be careful with that. And then sit and focus. A simple sit. Dogs can do a simple sit. That's pretty easy. Now, asking them to recall or asking them to do some stay work, that might be harder, like that, go to bed might be harder, but sit is generally pretty simple for them. So practice these behaviors away from distractions at first, and then start to get these simple behaviors when you're in the presence of people your dog doesn't know.

Speaker 1: 10:02

Now when this is happening in your home, if your dog is reacting to guests at the door, we can do several things. Number one before the guest arrives, set your dog up in a calm space, maybe with a stuffed chew toy in a crate or behind a gate, turn on some white noise, right Dog TV, whatever works. And then, number two, once the guest is settled, we can bring our dog out on a leash and have an introduction from a distance, whatever distance our dog needs or not. If your dog is not ready for that or there's no way to maybe do the training while this person is visiting, then let's not force that right. Let's pick times that we can work with our dog to help set them up for success, and we have a person that's willing to, you know, be patient with us as we do. So we can also try that stranger toss game or allow our dog to observe from a distance. So some dogs will never love having people over. That's okay, we can manage this.

Speaker 1: 10:52

So if we know our dogs just really are stressed out by strangers coming to our home, then let's put them in a nice comfortable space where they can have some chews and do their own thing and not feel the pressure or tension of having to interact with guests. Okay, so we're here to help you. If you have these goals for your dog where you would like to get them more comfortable around people that they don't know or trust yet, we're happy to help coach you through some of these exercises that we talked about, and we can help your dog feel better emotionally when they do see a stranger. So helping your dog learn to like or at least tolerate strangers does take time. It requires empathy, consistency and a willingness to go at your dog's pace. We don't want to force these interactions, but it can be done. So reach out to us if you need. We're happy to help coach you through any of this.

Speaker 1: 11:41

You guys, have a wonderful rest of your week and happy training. Thanks for tuning in to the Puppy Training Podcast. I hope today's tips help you feel more confident and excited about raising your dog. Remember, with a little patience and consistency you can create a loving bond and a well-behaved pup who's a joy to have in your family. If you found this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share it with fellow puppy parents. For more resources, visit Baxter and Bella online. Until next time, happy training.