Episode #278 Alone Time Training

Many handlers assume that once a puppy is comfortable in a crate, they've mastered alone-time training. In reality, crate training and independence training are two different skills. In this episode, we explore how to prevent separation-related issues before they begin by teaching graduated absences, confidence-building independence exercises, and practical enrichment strategies that fit real family schedules.

You'll learn how to recognize early signs of distress, and how to help your puppy develop the emotional resilience needed to stay calm and relaxed when home alone. Whether you work from home, have a busy household, or simply want to raise a confident companion, this episode provides a step-by-step approach to building healthy independence from the start.

Transcript

Why Alone Time Feels Scary

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Today, we're talking about something that all puppies need to learn. How to feel confident and relaxed when they are alone. Alone is something a puppy doesn't know how to be, so we have to help them. Welcome to the puppy training podcast, the show designed to help you raise a confident, well-behaved puppy using positive practical training methods. Each week we'll explore real-life training strategies, break down common puppy challenges, and give you clear, step-by-step guidance you can start using right away. Whether you're dealing with potty training, biting, jumping, or just want to build a stronger bond with your pupp as their handler, you're in the right place. This surprises a lot of people, but when they bring that puppy home, they wonder why my puppy's crying or whining or struggling to be in their crate or their exercise pen. And they just always want to be with me. But what happens is we just took a puppy from their litter, all their litter mates, their mama, like they've just all the people they knew, their household, everything that's familiar, and we've transported them into our environment, and they often are not with someone, and that's startling to them, and they don't really know how to feel about it. So many people spend weeks teaching their puppy to love the crate, and we highly recommend that. That is great. It's a really valuable skill. But we also need to recognize that a puppy who can sleep in a crate while you're sitting six feet away is not necessarily a puppy who can comfortably stay home alone. Those are actually two different skills.

Crate Skills Versus True Independence

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So today we're going to talk about the difference between simply just crate training and going beyond that and training independence. So why separation issues develop, how to prevent them before they start, and some practical exercises that help puppies learn that being alone is actually safe, predictable, and it's completely normal. So if you're raising a puppy while working from home, or you have a busy family schedule, or you simply just want to avoid any future separation anxiety issues, this episode is for you. Now, one of the biggest challenges that puppies face today is that they're rarely alone. They rarely experience that gradual independence. So let's think about it. Many puppies come home and suddenly they're the center of attention, right? Someone's always watching them, someone's always talking to them, someone's always interacting with them. And then a few weeks later, real life happens. I have to go back to work, my kids go back to school, I need to run errands, and suddenly the puppy experiences these longer periods of isolation without having learned how to really handle it. And that can be incredibly stressful to a new puppy. So when we talk about separation problems, many people imagine a dog that's destroying furniture or barking nonstop, but those would just be some visible signs. Underneath those behaviors is often some anxiety or distress in your puppy. Now, the goal isn't simply to stop unwanted behavior. The goal is we're going to teach our puppies how to have emotional resilience. We want puppies to genuinely feel comfortable when they are alone. So preventing separation anxiety is going to be much easier than treating it down the road. Imagine you're teaching your child to swim. It's far easier to introduce water gradually and positively than to help someone overcome a deep fear after a frightening experience. The same principle is going to apply here. If a puppy repeatedly experiences panic when they're left alone, that emotional response can become stronger over time. That's why we don't want our first independence exercise to be four-hour absences, right? Or two-hour absences. We want to do short mini absences. So we want to build confidence before the puppy ever feels too overwhelmed. So we're going to create positive experiences with being alone or solitude from the very beginning. So I want you to think of this as emotional conditioning. We are teaching your puppy that people leave, people come back, everything is okay. And eventually that puppy can relax even when nobody is there. So let's clear up a common misconception. Many people believe that because their puppy enjoys the crate, they have completed a lone time training. Now, partially that's true, but partially that's not. So we need to ask ourselves several questions. One, can my puppy relax in the crate when I'm in a different room? Can they settle if I step outside the house? Can my puppy remain calm if they hear me leave the house? They hear that door open and that door close. Can they spend time in a puppy safe area without constant interaction? Can they start to entertain themselves? These are called independent skills. And the crate is simply one management tool in helping with that. Yes, it helps immensely. Yes, we are big fans of crate training. But we also need to teach our puppy that we are going to disappear sometimes, and that's okay. To understand alone time training, it helps to think about how dogs are. They are social animals. So young puppies naturally seek proximity to you. From a survival perspective, staying close to family is very smart. It's very important. So being alone to a puppy can initially feel unsafe. That's normal. So if your puppy whines the first time you walk away, it doesn't mean anything is wrong. It means they're

The One Second Disappearing Game

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learning. So we're going to create some graduated absences. This is the foundation of separation prevention. I like to introduce absences in tiny, manageable steps that my puppy can handle. Notice the word manageable. We're not testing the puppy. We are building confidence. Here's how it works: I want you to start when your puppy is calm. Not a puppy who's already upset, not a puppy who's overly excited and needs to run around and get some energy out, but calm and comfortable. Place them in a safe area. Maybe it's two time. That's a great time to practice this. So that might be that safe area might be a crate, an exercise pen, a gated room, or a puppy-proof space, whatever you've created in your home. And then I want you to step away for one second. That means I want you to disappear. So oftentimes I like to just go around the corner so I can come right back. And then you're going to repeat that. I want you to try one second and then two seconds of disappearing and then three seconds of disappearing. Every time you reappear, just drop a little food reward in that pen or in the crate or behind the baby gate, wherever your puppy is, just toss a little food reward, disappear. Come back, toss a little food reward, disappear. And you're just going to go by seconds. I know it seems like this is going to take forever, but it happens actually pretty quickly. So over the next week to two weeks, you're going to start with seconds. You're going to build up to minutes. Minutes are going to turn into like a half hour and an hour. And by the end of that first week, yeah, I'm headed to the grocery store for an hour. But I'm not doing that on day one. We're going to build up gradually and help our puppy be successful when we disappear. We're trying to build trust in them that we come back. Don't worry, you can't see me. I always come back. And that helps with these short, quick, uh disappearing segments. Now, what matters is keeping that the puppy successful. If my puppy remains relaxed, then we can keep going. If they become too distressed, then I'm moving too quickly and I need to back up, go to fewer seconds. Simply shorten that duration and then try again. Think of confidence as a staircase. Skipping steps often create setbacks. So just take it one stair at a time. Now many people are waiting for the barking or the howling before assuming a puppy is struggling, but stress can appear much earlier. So watch for things like repeated pre-positioning, like they're getting up, turning around, laying back down. Maybe they're panting excessively. Maybe they're scratching up the barriers or they're refusing to eat those food rewards that you drop on the floor. And yes, vocalization. So these signs tell us that the puppy's not truly relaxed. We want to make sure that we're doing these short disappearing acts and coming back really quickly. So remember that one second, reappear, two seconds, reappear, three seconds, reappear. And maybe you only get to five seconds and then you let the puppy out and you go play. I like to call it recess time. Let's get them to relax and be happy. And then let's try this again and see if we can practice some more disappearing. That's going to transition into I go upstairs and make a sandwich, I come back. I go outside to get the mail, I come back. I uh, you know, whatever it is. You have lots of little tasks you have to do for throughout the day. We're going to start with just seconds and then we're going to build that up gradually to minutes. And we're doing lots of repetitions of comings and goings, comings and goings, so that in that first week our puppy is learning, oh, she always comes back.

Velcro Dogs And Boring Goodbyes

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Alone time training isn't only about departures. That's a great start, but it's also about what happens when you're home. So some puppies will develop a habit of constant companionship. I know during COVID this happened to a lot of people. I think we're doing better now that we're post-COVID, but sometimes we still fall into this trap. So if you work from home, many of us do now because we learn that that works, you'll have to get creative and make sure that you do some planned time away just to help your puppy out. Now, if your puppy's developed a habit of constant companionship, then every movement becomes a group activity. We call these Velcro dogs. You walk to the kitchen, the puppy follows. You go to the bathroom, the puppy follows. You sit on the sofa, the puppy follows. And this can accidentally create some dependence. Now instead, begin teaching that being near you is optional. You can encourage independent activities. So chewing, sniffing, resting, playing with enrichment toys. Allow your puppy to experience periods where they are occupied without direct interaction. Now, in the beginning, a crate, a playpen, tethers, all of those things that we're doing to help manage our puppy, meaning we don't want them to pee on the carpet or chew our furniture, those management tools are also going to help teach your puppy independence because they can't follow you to the bathroom and they can't follow you to the kitchen and they can't get up every time you get up and go somewhere. So recognize all of those little things that we already have in place for management are doing a good job in setting your puppy up for success. Okay, now here's something that I often see that kind of causes problems. So if we create emotional events around leaving, that's going to make it harder for our puppies to be okay when we're gone. So things like, I'm leaving, I'll be right back, I'm going to miss you, I'll see you later. Then 20 kisses and a dramatic goodbye, right? That's not super helpful because from the puppy's perspective, it's signaling something important is happening. Um, instead, I just want you to make departures boring. Just calmly leave, calmly return. And it's not about the puppy as you come and go. So you leave the room, you come back to the room, but you don't go straight over to the puppy. They're just going to see you coming and going, but it's not about them. No drama, no emotional buildup, no big production. Confidence is going to grow when departures feel normal. All right, now let's talk about

Enrichment Support And A Simple Plan

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real life because I know many of you have jobs like me. You can't spend six months practicing one-minute absences forever. I get it. So, how do we balance training with reality? The answer is management and enrichment. Those things that we taught you from the beginning with your puppy. Again, the pens, the crates, the tethers. And then while they're in those areas, giving them safe chew items, snuffle mats. You can do uh food puzzle toys, stuffed enrichment toys. Um, that's where the good chews come out. Maybe a lick mat if you're just gone for a short period and right back again. But remember, uh, we want this to be positive and we want it to be relaxing for our puppy. So that's what we're encouraging by using these tools. Now, enrichment is a support tool. It doesn't replace independence training. A puppy shouldn't only feel comfortable if they're eating something and as soon as the bone is gone, they stress, right? But we want them to learn to relax and doing or giving them these things can really help with that. If you work remotely, this section is especially important. So some work from home puppies struggle more with independence. They're rarely separated from their people, right? So you have to get a little creative. Um, again, you're going to schedule independent sessions intentionally. Maybe you work in a different room occasionally. Maybe you encourage naps away from your workspace so they're not in the same room with you when they're sleeping. You can practice brief departures even when you don't need to leave, right? Like get up and go to the bathroom, don't take the puppy with you. Get up, you know, go upstairs if you have different levels in your home, work on a different level. Go make that sandwich and then come back after you've eaten it. Um, you can create some of these departures to make it easier for your puppy. You just have to be a little proactive. A common misconception is that success means a puppy never notices that you're gone. That's really actually not the goal. A healthy response might look like this: the puppy notices you left, they look towards the door, they go back to chewing, they lie down, they take a nap. That's success. The puppy understands, people leave, people come back, life goes on. Now, if you're not sure where to start, try this simple plan. Every day for this week, I want you to practice five to ten short absences. Keep most of them easy. Mix up the duration: some five seconds, some two seconds, some 30 seconds, some one minute, some five minutes, and provide opportunities for independent enrichment. Encourage naps away from where you are. Keep your comings and goings calm with no drama. I want you to track the progress and celebrate every small win. You'll start to notice them and you'll start to see success. All right, you guys, that's it for today. Hopefully that's helpful to all of you who are bringing home a new puppy soon or you have a new puppy. Remember, they don't know how to be alone. That's a really scary thing for a young puppy. So we kindly introduce them to these short, small separations where they can feel relaxed and comfortable, and that will develop into a dog who can be comfortable on their own throughout their life. That's a gift you can give your dog. Happy training. Have a great week. Thanks for tuning in today. If you found this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe so you never miss a training tip. And if you're enjoying the show, leaving a quick review really helps other handlers find us. For more training resources, tips, and support, visit me, Amy Jensen, at baxterambella.com. Until next time, happy training.