Episode #280 The Art of Settling — Teaching Your Puppy to Relax Anywhere

Does your puppy seem to have two speeds—sleeping and full-speed zoomies? If you've ever wondered how to help your puppy relax at home, on a restaurant patio, at the park, or during family outings, this episode is for you.

In this episode of the Puppy Training Podcast, we're exploring the art of settling—one of the most valuable life skills you can teach your dog. You'll learn why calm behavior doesn't just happen naturally, how to capture and reward relaxation, how to introduce a settle mat, and why every outing doesn't have to be an adventure. We'll also discuss common mistakes handlers make, how to build this skill gradually in real-world environments, and why teaching your puppy to simply "do nothing" is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.

Whether you have a brand-new puppy or an energetic adolescent dog, these practical tips will help you raise a confident companion who can enjoy life's adventures—and then happily relax by your side.

Transcript

Why Puppies Struggle To Relax

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Have you ever wondered why your puppy seems to have endless energy? Maybe they can walk, play, train, and then somehow still zoom around the house like they just woke up from a nap. The truth is, many puppies don't actually know how to relax, and that's a skill we can teach them. In today's episode, we're talking about the art of settling, why calmness doesn't just happen as your puppy ages and how to help your puppy learn to relax at home and really anywhere life takes you. Welcome to the Puppy Training Podcast, the show designed to help you raise a confident, well-behaved puppy using positive practical training methods. Each week we'll explore real-life training strategies, break down common puppy challenges, and give you clear, step-by-step guidance you can start using right away. Whether you're dealing with potty training, biting, jumping, or just want to build a stronger bond with your pupp as their handler, you're in the right place.

Fireworks Note And Today’s Goal

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Hey you guys, welcome to the puppy training podcast. I'm Amy Jensen. Uh it's 4th of July week. So, I mean, fireworks are happening. If you haven't listened to our recent episode on sounds and desensitization, I highly recommend it. Please don't feel guilty about leaving your puppies and dogs home from firework shows. They might be happier. So check that episode out if you haven't heard it. And happy holidays. I hope you enjoy this weekend with family and friends wherever you are. Now, today we're talking about settling, right? I get asked a lot, like, I just want the calm puppy. I just want my dog to settle. Um, how do I do that? They don't hold still, they don't sleep, uh, they just play, play, play, and they the harder they play, the harder they play. They just keep playing. How do we help our dogs relax?

Exercise Can Create Overtired Chaos

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One of the biggest misconceptions about puppies is that if we exercise them enough, they'll naturally settle. Now, sometimes that's true, but often it's exactly the opposite. Have you ever been around an overtired toddler? They're exhausted. Yeah, instead of just curling up for a nap, they start running laps around the living room or they're laughing hysterically, or they cry over nothing, or they're bouncing off of the furniture. And we recognize, oh, they're just tired and they probably need a nap. Puppies do the same thing. Many handlers see a puppy zooming around the house and think, oh, they need another walk, or I need to take them out in the backyard and let them run around. They need more exercise. But sometimes what they really need is just help calming their nervous system. So learning to settle is a skill, just like sitting, just like coming when called, just like walking politely on leash. Now, here's something I'd love every puppy handler to start noticing. How often do you reward calm behavior? It's really easy to just ignore that or not notice it because it's usually calm. It's quiet. We don't usually notice things like that. It's easier to notice the barking, the jumping, or the biting. So again, most people are rewarding exciting behaviors, right? They ask for a sit, they give a food reward, they practice a high five or a shake, or they're playing fetch, they're doing training games, all good things. But then the puppy quietly lies down for 30 seconds and nobody notices, right? The puppy chews a toy peacefully, nobody notices. The puppy watches the world calmly from the porch, nobody notices. We're often so focused on teaching our dogs what to do that we forget to reinforce what we'd love them to do more often, which is nothing. Now, when you catch your puppy making a good choice on their own, just quietly acknowledge it. Maybe we walk over, maybe we speak softly to them. Uh, if they like belly rubs, you could just rub their belly or stroke their ears really gently. You could drop a little food reward between their paws. Sometimes that's beneficial, sometimes that just amps them up and creates them their um need to not relax, so be careful of that one. But we don't need to create a big party. This is not excitement or fanfare, it's just a little reward for making a calm decision. Now, over time, your puppy begins to realize that relaxing is rewarding as

Capturing Calm With Gentle Rewards

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well. Now, this brings us to one of my favorite training concepts. It's called capturing calm. Instead of asking your puppy to perform a behavior, you're simply waiting for them to offer it naturally. Maybe they lie down after playing or they sigh and stretch out, maybe they are quietly watching birds through the window. Those are perfect moments where you can reward them. The key word that we're talking about here is gently reward them. So if you run across the room squealing, good puppy, you've probably just talked them right back into being excited. So instead, just quietly walk over, place a little food reward between their paws, and continue on with your day. Your puppy's going to learn something very important. Being relaxed, being quiet pays. Now, one mistake that people can make is thinking that every trip outside needs to be physically exhausting. So every walk becomes exercise, every park visit becomes play, every outing is full speed, but life isn't always like that. Sometimes you'll want your dog to sit beside you while you watch your child's soccer game, or that you want them to lie at your feet while you chat with a neighbor, or you're enjoying lunch on a patio, maybe you're calmly waiting during a veterinary appointment, right? Those situations require a completely different skill. We're in a new environment that's highly distracting, and we want our dogs to have the ability to simply exist without needing constant entertainment. Now that skill doesn't magically appear at adulthood, it grows through practice.

Mat Training For Real-World Settling

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One of my favorite tools for teaching relaxation is a simple mat or a blanket. An outdoor, indoor, outdoor rug works well too. It doesn't need to be fancy, it could be anything really. It can be a bath mat, a small blanket, it can be a portable dog bed. I love the raised dog beds. It just gives a very distinct place for your dog to be. And over time, your puppy's going to begin to associate the mat with relaxing. I like to start at home. I place the mat on the floor. The moment my puppy steps onto it, I'm going to reward them. If they choose to lie down, even better reward again. And then let them relax. I'm not asking for a formal place cue right away. I'm just creating an emotional association. So this mat becomes a familiar, safe place wherever I take it. Now, eventually you can bring that same mat to the friend's house or an outdoor cafe or a family barbecue or a training class. It's going to tell your puppy, this is where we settle. Now, we want to start small before going somewhere public. If I expect my dog to just obey it immediately at an outdoor cafe, that's not going to be great, right? That's going to be a really hard spot for them to probably relax. So I start indoors, teaching them the behavior of their go to bed and just simply relax and be. And then we practice in our backyard. And then I practice maybe out in front of my home, maybe in my driveway. And then I might take them to the park and we'll I'll pick us a very quiet place in the park where there's not a lot happening. There's not a lot of people. It's a very um, it's a new location, but it's a very um low distraction area. And we'll practice there and we'll build up to that outdoor patio, right? And each new environment is going to add some level of difficulty. Now, if my puppy struggles, that's simply information for me. It doesn't mean they're stubborn. It means the environment is asking for more than they're ready to handle currently. So I just take a step back. I make it easier and I build from there. As a trainer, I'm always asking myself, how do I set my puppy up for success? How do I make it easier for them to succeed? When puppies are excited, our instinct is often to keep giving instructions. We say, sit down, stay, leave

Practice Doing Nothing Outside

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it, watch me, good, sit again. Sometimes the best thing that we can do is nothing. Just sit quietly, give your puppy a chance to observe, watch people walk by, listen to birds, see bicycles, smell the breeze, you name it. Not every outing needs to involve active training. We can just sit and do nothing. And sometimes your puppy is learning simply by just experiencing the world calmly. We often worry that our puppies will get bored, right? But a little boredom isn't harmful. In fact, learning how to do nothing is an important life skill. Dogs that always expect constant activity can become frustrated when life slows down. Dogs who regularly practice relaxing become much more adaptable. Think of it as teaching your puppy that not every moment requires excitement. Sometimes life is wonderfully uneventful, and that's okay. So settling doesn't always look dramatic either. Maybe your puppy sits instead of jumping. Maybe they sigh, maybe they lie on one side or they're blinking slowly or they're shifting their weight. These tiny changes can tell you their body is starting to relax. Reward those moments. You're reinforcing the emotional state you want, not just the position. And make sure your body language reflects that calm behavior. So again, we're not getting all excited that they're settling. Rewarding them might just simply be a very slow, gentle ear rub or belly rub, or just a good girl in a very low, calm, uh relaxing tone. Now, I don't want anyone walking away thinking puppies don't need exercise. Of course they do. They need their walks and their play, enrichment, training, sniffing, all of those good things. But exercise and relaxation work together. A puppy who only exercises without learning to rest may become incredibly fit, but incredibly busy. Our goal isn't to create an athlete who never stops moving unless that's what you're looking for in your dog. So be careful with that. If that's what you're looking for, great. I'm not. Our goal is to raise a companion dog who can enjoy adventures, but then also just happily relax afterward. In fact, as I'm doing this podcast right now, my two dogs, Baxter and Bella, are chilling on the floor next to me. So Baxter's got his belly to the sky. He's having a great nap in his bed. Bella's right here on the tile floor next to me, and they just realize Amy's working. I think I'll just do nothing until she's done.

Common Pitfalls And Quiet Locations

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Now let's go over a few common pitfalls. The first is maybe waiting until your puppy is wildly overstimulated before asking them to settle. I like to practice a 10-second settle, let's go play. A 30-second settle, let's go play. So I'm interrupting play pretty frequently just to practice doing nothing. Okay, let's go back to play. That's a really good way to set your puppy up for success and to build this skill gradually. Now, are you looking for a place to practice? Here are a few ideas. Maybe just sitting on your front porch and watching the neighborhood together. Bring a mat or a rug to a quiet park and just enjoy the scenery. Pick a park bench and chill. You can relax in the shade after a walk instead of immediately just going inside your house. Maybe you visit a friend's backyard instead of a busy dog park. So it's a new location, but it's a very quiet location. You can watch children play from a distance where your puppy can stay relaxed. So go find a playground, but you stay maybe 50 plus feet away and just let your puppy see them and hear them, but from a distance so that they can relax. Now that distance is going to depend on your puppy. You could bring your puppy to outdoor community events, but only those are going to be hard. So only if they're ready for that level of stimulation. And don't hesitate to just do a, you know, one to two minute session and then leave. We don't want them to become overwhelmed. So remember, success isn't measured by how long you stay. It's measured by how comfortable and relaxing your puppy can become. Sometimes a 10-minute outing is the perfect session. That's plenty.

Weekly Plan And Closing Reminders

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So this week I'd like you to practice capturing calm every day. Whenever you notice your puppy quietly relaxing on their own, calmly reward that choice. Next, I want you to introduce a mat at home and begin building positive associations with it. Then I want you to choose one quiet location outside your home where your goal is just settling. And your only goal there is to sit together and simply observe the world. There's no tricks, no training, no leash walking. You know, it's not, we're not focused on a skill other than the skill of just being. And you may be surprised by how much learning happens during those quiet moments where it seems like you're doing nothing. All right, you guys, thanks for listening. I hope that helps. Just keep your expectations realistic. Again, set your puppies up for success. This isn't something that happens overnight. It's a skill that we build on little by little until finally your dogs can just settle and relax in the world around them, and it's a beautiful thing. Have a great week. Happy training. Thanks for tuning in today. If you found this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe so you never miss a training tip. And if you're enjoying the show, leaving a quick review really helps other handlers find us. For more training resources, tips, and support, visit me Amy Jensen at baxterambella.com. Until next time, happy training.